The less-than thoughts, the comparison to other (stylish-without-trying) Moms on Instagram, the experience that we don’t feel good in our bodies and want to change our physical appearance, the pressure that we put on ourselves to be a successful Coach/Entrepreneur but feel overwhelmed because we have tried so much (and feel exhausted), the constant nagging feeling that we are letting our families and our kids down when we open our computer or feel distracted by how we want to create our success, yet to create success we need time and we feel guilty for spending time away from those that need us to claim it for ourselves. Our thoughts create a holding pattern of stagnancy, defeat, frustration, and overwhelm. The heaviness of expectation and pressure are felt every day AND we know that we are meant for more and CAN DO MORE. If you finding yourself sitting with some of these thoughts, here are some shifts to help buffer some of this experiencing and lend some perspective to what you might be going through.
1. Know you are not alone.
These thoughts that you are having are not a 'you' problem specifically, but rather, a cultural problem where we have become fueled by pretending and impressing. Despite what you think you see with the pretty professional pictures and styled whatever (cue the laid back Mom looking absolutely adorable with her happy kids, all styled in clothes that are not matched, but coordinated in an eclectic way), a picture is just a snapshot of 1 millisecond of time that conveys NOTHING about a true experience. It is meant to tell a story (which it does!), but the story that we understand is directly influence BY THE LENS IN WHICH WE SEE OURSELVES.
2. Try to be mindful of sources and triggers of these feelings.
Try to be in tune with how you are feeling and what you are thinking when you are exposed to different social media sources. For example, as you view a social media account, a specific FB group page, or within your feed in general, what do you notice about how you are feeling during this process? Try to view these sources as informative and guide you toward what you need or want from your life.
3. Engage in things and people and social media that SERVES you.
This is where I do something called a Pop Culture Purge, that is, I encourage an you to unsubscribe and eliminate those things and people that bring you down, and instead, fill yourself with sources that ENERGIZE and bring goodness and joy to you life! We are not simply ‘filling’ your life, we are engaging in sources that are FULFILLING.
4. Maintain a KIND AND GENEROUS perspective to yourself.
Self care doesn't just mean getting a massage or pedicure; it means treating ourselves with the SAME COMPASSION we treat others (even if we tell ourselves that we wish we had more patience, that we had to use our Mom Hulk voice, or a recent business idea didn't take off like we had wanted). How can you offer yourselves some grace to yourself each day through your thoughts and words directed inward?
Consider this your invitation today to see yourself as MORE. You will CHOOSE COURAGE and honor and appreciate ALL the parts of ourselves.
You deserve it, friend.
Sending hugs + Encouragement,